Lillian Dickson said, ” Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you can only spend it once.”
How are you spending your life?
Last week Neil and I rented the movie My Sister’s Keeper. (Yes, that was the same night we watched The Biggest Loser on tv – that’s how we came to watch the show. When the video ended, the reality show was on tv and we just kept watching. See Jan 25 blog)
Wow. What a powerful movie. It’s the story of a family coping with life and death. The oldest sister has leukemia. The youngest sister was conceived to be a donor for her sister. It’s a fascinating look at many issues, with some pretty neat twists. The movie gives you lots to ponder about many big life questions, not the least of which is, is the length of a person’s life more important than the quality of their life?
It brought back memories of what we went through when Neil’s mom decided to stop the life-giving dialysis treatments she was given three times each week
My Sister’s Keeper is the sort of movie you watch with a good friend and a box of Kleenex, then make time to have discussion about after. When you’ve seen it, email me and we’ll set a date to get together and have tea and chat about all the life issues and belief systems this movie gives you a chance to examine. You can reach me at info@bestucanb.ca
When was the last time you took the time and slowed down enough in your busy life to look around you? I mean that you slow down enough so that you are able to notice all the people you interact with on a daily basis? The convenience store clerk, the mail person, the deliver driver, the meter man, the day care worker, etc. .
I suggest observing them from a far first, are they distracted, are they on the phone? Whats their body language telling you? Then as you move closer, observe the changes in their body language. When do they notice you? Do they notice more readily if you are smiling or have a scowl on your face? Just observe how people react to you and the state of being you project.
In our busy world, we sometimes forget that there is a whole world out there dealing with their own issues and problems. As an example, my really big problems in life right now are really small if I compare them with the problems that people in Haiti are dealing with.
I would like to suggest for one whole day you become the observer of your life. By this, I mean you observe yourself as objectively as you can, from the vantage point of seeing yourself from a neutral third persons view. Go out and view yourself in your day to day interactions and silently ask yourself, “Does my day to day actions support my higher good?” Answer the question without attachment to the outcome with only a YES or NO.. There is no middle ground.
I’d love to hear about your personal observations, drop me an email at neil@bestucanb.ca and share your observations.
While emptying the laundry basket, I found a copy of the book The Soul Would Have No Rainbow if the Eyes Had No Tears. (The story of how a book ended up in basketful of clean socks to be folded could be another blog in itself!) The title reminded me of an episode of the TV reality show, The Biggest Loser, that Neil and I watched last week.
Will wonders never cease? First, it’s amazing that Neil and I spent some time just relaxing on the couch together in the middle of the week. It’s even more amazing that we watched a TV show together (It is extremely rare for me to watch television. I have some very strong opinions about watching tv. My life is too valuable to me to waste it on the addiction of television. My mind is too important to allow it to be numbed by tv. My eyes suffer enough staring at a computer screen for hours every day; I don’t need to subject them to the tv screen, too. My body is too precious allow it to get soft and flabby sitting around on the couch all night. I live my life too passionately to give up the precious time I could spend doing things I love to do, in order to watch tv.) It’s more amazing yet that I found impressive value in this reality show about seriously overweight people spending time at The Ranch to learn how to lose weight. In this episode, one of the participants was seriously denying her emotions. It was obvious she was angry, yet she continuously insisted that she was fine. I was thoroughly impressed by the female trainer (I think her name is Julie) who kept poking at her to get her to admit and release those emotions. Julie would be in her face, telling her things like, “Showing your emotions is not a sign of weakness. It takes incredible courage to be vulnerable. Painful emotions are just indicators that you’re headed down the wrong path. Pay attention to your emotions! Be brave, be strong and talk about what you’re feeling. What’s going on for you on the outside is just a sign of what’s going on inside.” The participant finally got mad and exclaimed that she didn’t come there to be told how to be, she just wanted to learn how to eat right and exercise. Wow! She had no idea. It was an eye opener to me. I realized there must be many people in the world like this woman who have no idea that our thinking and our emotions are connected, and this connection shows up in our bodies…. for the good or the bad. I was pleased to hear these strong messages being presented to the world through this tv show. This is important stuff. Even if the message got through to one person who’s been taught to be tough and hide their emotions, to one person who ‘stuffs’ their feelings for the sake of being strong or making a good impression, then the program has value. I know for a fact that every person who stuffs their emotions suffers for it – both psychologically and physically. Our immune systems are very connected to our emotional health… people who catch colds all the time are unhappy people. When we refuse to acknowledge and properly release feelings of anger, shame, guilt, sadness, they take a toll on our mind and our bodies… in bigger ways than most people are willing to admit. People who have trouble expressing themselves often end up with serious physical diseases (think about that word – dis-ease – a lack of being at ease!). There have been plenty of studies to link between cancer to the feeling of not being heard. And plenty of studies to indicate that people who overeat are creating a physical barrier around themselves to protect themselves from people – to keep people from getting close to them. It’s a physical manifestation of an emotional condition. So, although I will not change my mind about how much time I’m willing to spend in front of the tv, I am willing to soften my view about whether or not television has anything of value to offer. I beseech you, please be conscious in your tv watching… pay attention to the messages you are receiving in the programming you are watching. If it is supportive to you, by all means watch it. But if it’s just numbing your mind and giving you a reason to escape living your life, turn the tv off, walk away and go do something that will make you feel good (like listen to music, talk to a friend, read a good book, play a sport, engage in a hobby….) And if you are open to using effective tools to help you become conscious of your thoughts and what they are creating in your life, may I suggest you try the journaling process I present in Believe in Yourself – You Are Awesome! It has proven track record of effectiveness in shifting self-talk and focus to boost self-esteem and confidence. More at http://www.bestucanb.ca/Journaling.php
